Self Care

Soham Parekh isn’t alone ‼️

Soham Parekh was just outed for secretly working multiple startup jobs at once, cashing checks while founders stayed in the dark.

Think that’s rare? Over on Reddit’s r/overemployed, there are thousands openly bragging about juggling 2–4 jobs at once. It’s a culture - and offshore, it’s even worse.

Studies suggest over 50% of offshore contractors are working multiple jobs without telling their employers. You’re paying for focus, but you’re funding someone else’s side hustle.

Spectr helps founders quietly verify who’s actually working for them - and who’s just cashing the check. If you’re building offshore, it’s worth a quick call before you get blindsided.

I wake up at 5:30am and go to the gym each morning before work. Twice a week I swim a mile before hitting the sauna and cold plunge. I spend my weekends doing hot yoga, hiking, and surfing.

I tricked myself into thinking that just because I was physically active I could totally neglect my mental health. Well, it turns out that didn’t work.

If you recall, just a few months ago in May I wrote Anxiety rules everything around me.

The good news: it was sort of a banger. Turns out that people really resonate with authentic vulnerability; it was the most responded to newsletter I had ever sent.

The bad news: it was true — anxiety ruled everything around me. It was 1,200 words of existential dread that I vomited through my keyboard.

I wrote it on the flight home to LA after what seemed like the longest three week stretch of my life. It began with a week in Mexico for our annual company offsite, followed by a week working from Tulum, capped off with one of my best friend’s weddings in Philadelphia.

It really doesn’t sound all that bad at all, but the ups and downs of this journey are heavy. It was three weeks away from my home and routine. The company was experiencing a bit of turbulence that felt existential (it always does). Both my COO and Chief of Staff were out on extended leave, and I was stuck cleaning up the mess in what seemed like a revolving door of problems.

14 hours straight of eating shit (metaphorically), day after day, hot spotting from a little cafe on my god damn laptop. That’s no way to enjoy the beach.

This three week stretch was after I had already been jumping around to attend a few bachelor parties and weddings earlier in the year. It was also after work trips to the Middle East and Europe, and a handful of speaking gigs and conferences throughout the states.

I thought I was invincible and could do it all without missing a beat. It turns out that skipping time zones and running all hands from the Cancun airport lounge isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be.

I’m no stranger to burn out, I’ve tangoed with her quite a few times.

Two years ago while living in Medellin I was burning the candle at both ends. I was working 80 hour weeks and partying like it was Mardi Gras (29-year-old single Tyler was a lot more fun).

One week I was out til 4am a few nights in a row, followed by a couple 12 hour work days. Cold brew and adderall were the only things keeping me alive until I woke up Saturday morning with a throbbing pain in my chest and back that I couldn’t shake. That landed me in the ER.

Two takeaways:

Ever since my days in New York I was always someone who could be the last one out at night and the first one up working in the morning. Looks like I was flying a little too close to the sun.

Also, hey mom, sorry I never told you that story. Thanks for reading my newsletter :).

Not to be outdone by the time I swore that I had a brain tumor last fall. I had this throbbing pressure behind my left eye for weeks before seeing a handful of neurologists and doctors.

Turns out that it was all just due to stress. Also turns out that the U.S. healthcare system is a lot more expensive than Colombia’s (note for future self).

$20M ARR is a nice little milestone, but I’ve nearly killed myself a dozen times trying to brute force this company to success. Some of those instances were more self-inflicted than others, but it hasn’t been an easy journey to get here.

Our cofounder and CTO tragically passed away just six months after launching the business, and the ride hasn’t gotten all that much smoother since.

Anyway, fast forward back to that flight home in May when I wrote that post — I knew something had to change. I was running myself into the ground (again) and the stakes were only getting higher.

I woke up the next morning and began meditating again for the first time in years. I’ve been meditating every morning and night since, and it’s made a world of a difference.

I also cut coffee cold turkey; I used to crush 2-3 cups of cold brew per day. The cortisol spikes were just exacerbating what was already a baseline of high stress and anxiety.

I took a screenshot of my Oura app just a week after making those two changes, and the difference was pretty mindblowing.

The next step was to undo most of my prior commitments. I bailed on a few upcoming trips to stay local in LA where I could build and focus all my time on what’s most important.

I think being “selfish” has far too negative of a connotation; more people would benefit from putting themselves first. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

At work I audited my calendar and cut unnecessary meetings, began saying “no” to more things again, and brought on a legendary Chief of Staff who has helped me delegate a ton (shoutout Dan).

I invested in building healthier habits too. Being on the west coast while most of the team is out east, I used to grab my phone and begin scrolling Slack before even leaving my bed. That’s a sure-fire way to spike stress before the sun’s even up.

Now I don’t touch my phone for the first 45 minutes after waking up. Instead, I stretch, meditate, and ruminate before having the outside world penetrate my thoughts with pings and to-do items.

On the flip side, my bedtime routine would give Bryan Johnson a nighttime erection. I read before bed, take supplements to prevent my mind from racing all night, and actually prioritize 8 hours of non-negotiable sleep.

I still spend most weekends working, but I’ve also made time for things that give me energy. Hot yoga every Saturday, surf and breathwork every Sunday, and some time with friends and family in between.

One of my biggest regrets as a founder is not investing in myself sooner.

It’s 10:47pm on Friday night as I write this sentence and I’m just getting warmed up for the night. I’m still working just as hard as ever, but I’ve finally been able to prioritize my mental health in a way that I never have before.

Today I feel like my best and healthiest self. I’m more motivated and optimistic about the future of business than I can ever recall.

That’s a dangerous combination for the competition 😈.

If you enjoyed this post or know someone who may find it useful, please share it with them and encourage them to subscribe: mail.bigdeskenergy.com/p/self-care

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